How often do you find yourself caught up in comparing what you have to what other people have? Or caught up in the belief that things are “better” at someone else’s house? How frequently do you complain about your partner and the lack of intimacy in your relationship? Do you chronically find fault in others and/or gossip about their shortcomings? Perhaps you have felt the disappointment about a Christmas gift not received? If you answered “yes” to any of the above inquiries, you are not alone.
Lack Mentality is common place. At some point or another, we ruminate on what we don’t have and how much better we believe we’d feel if we had what we seemingly wanted. This way of thinking is unfortunate since it leads to chronic discontent. Instead of feeling joyous, flush in cheek and full of heart, we feel jealous for what others have and this turns our face pale with empty eye’s that long and grasp.
The solution to lack mentality is to first become aware of when you’re caught up in thoughts about “not having” and/or not being enough. With even a trace of awareness and a moment of reflection it’s possible to arrest the further ripples of such thinking.
First we must be honest and stop wasting our precious breath blaming others for not getting what we want or what we think we deserve. Blame is the most insidious and contagious form of denial. Once we stop blaming others, we begin to be honest about how we are responsible for what we think, feel, and act.
If we are caught up in feeling lack and less than others or grasping and clinging to what we don’t have, be honest about it. No one is to blame.
Once we have an honest admission to our self. We simultaneously open. Openness is when we softly accept our self without punishment or reward. We open to what we are experiencing exactly as it is. We open without any need to justify or explain our self. We don’t have to further indulge the story of lack and grasping, we open and relax with these thoughts.
When the thoughts about what you lack arise instead of indulging them or avoiding them, just take it easy for a moment. For one moment open and relax as the thoughts arise. This is so important: stop struggling with a story about your self that only your self really cares about. We can handle honesty about our self when we take it easy and make it easy. We open and immediately see our self (and others) from a deeper point of view. From the vantage point of openness, we do not experience lack mentality. We really are A-OK.
Once we open, we recognize that openness is our natural state. From this natural state of openness we shift from lack attitude to gratitude and appreciation. When we are open and move as openness we are naturally grateful and appreciative for what we have. Instead of feeling jealous and wanting we are grateful and happy for others.
Additionally, if someone has what you want, when you are honest and open, you know you can have it too. You can either work to have it too, or truth be told, you didn’t really want it in the first place. Instead of being caught up in the cycle of lack and longing, be happy for the person who genuinely worked for and accomplished their desires. And in openness you can be inspired and either work to accomplish that or be grateful for what you have.